Knowledge

Each of us remembers at least one such meeting: it was loud, we touched on a million topics, a few people gave speeches like nobility at a diet, we ended without specifics, and then everyone started glancing at their watches and returned to their laptops… What to do to make discussions concrete and fruitful? How to stop talkative people and encourage quiet participants to speak up? The following moderation techniques have been personally tested and have helped save many team discussions 🙂

The training market offer can be overwhelming. Under the slogan “team building and communication in the team,” we find a whole range of proposals from paintball and building a Goldberg machine (it lookslikethis) to team coaching and VR games. How to recognize, in this jungle of possibilities, which training will actually bring results?

This is the message sent by many managers overwhelmed with a multitude of tasks. Risky, because – let’s be honest – does it really motivate to find a solution? Not really. It rather suggests something like ‘I don’t have time to deal with this, don’t be a slacker and handle it yourself.’ On the other hand, the manager is also human. In our leadership training, managers repeatedly say that they dream of greater independence and proactivity from their subordinates, which would allow them to take a break from handling matters for them. Paradoxically, many of them respond with immediate help and a proposed solution as soon as an employee reports a problem. All with the best of intentions! The effect is often that the employee is not at all thrilled with an idea that is not their own (after all, we like our own ideas the most!), which the manager – somewhat rightly – perceives as sheer ingratitude… So how do you get a subordinate involved in action? How do you provide support without coming up with everything for them? In the article, we present 5 coaching questions useful when we want to engage an employee in co-creating solutions.

In the past 2 weeks, the realities of our daily lives have been changing day by day before our eyes. The work style that was once enforced by the realities of projects or the job market for a narrow group of specialists has today become a more or less desired reality for many teams. Home office, or working from home, has already become (or will soon become) the daily reality of our teamwork. Permanent remote work for the entire team is a completely different story than home office, where sometimes someone is simply not in the office. This time, we are moving the work of the entire team to the virtual-telephone space. So, it’s about creating new frameworks, ‘rituals’ of teamwork in new conditions. Such frameworks create order and help to adapt more quickly to new situations. What should a manager pay attention to in order to minimize the negative impacts of such a situation on the productivity of each team member and the entire team? Read on to find out what is crucial for maintaining team efficiency during this challenging time.

When our reality changes overnight, the role of the manager is to act efficiently in seeking solutions that will help the team navigate the difficult situation. In the initial steps, it is worth considering three issues: the method of communication and information flow; the method of organizing work in the new realities; the way of dealing with emerging emotions. In the event of a sudden change, an uncertain work context, we should primarily ensure a smooth ‘landing’ in the new situation, which means taking care of the comfort of daily functioning and the efficient execution of tasks. This means that from the very beginning we should expect a drop in productivity, engagement, and the ability to achieve set goals. At the same time, being aware of this, we should console ourselves with the knowledge that the initial hiccup rarely translates into a long-term drop in team productivity if we act efficiently in three areas: Method of communication and information flow – in the first step, establish with employees the method of information flow within the team as well as between individual members. Jointly decide which tools you want to use in the context of seeking information (should we write to each other, call with every topic?) and conveying information (how to inform about problems or task completion?). More about specific tools HERE #. The way we organize work – the second issue is deciding how we organize our workday as a team. If we don’t have each other at hand (as usual in the office), it’s worth setting time intervals during which we are available and can, with a clear conscience, ‘race’ to complete various tasks. Believe it or not, often with ‘home office,’ employees have reservations like: ‘Can I still call him at 4:15 PM about work-related matters?’. Once we have set time intervals (e.g., we are all available from 10 AM to 4 PM and manage the rest of the time freely), it’s also worth taking care of the space where we will manage tasks. A place where we stay up to date with what awaits us, what others are currently doing, and what has been completed. A shared place for task management also helps to discipline oneself in situations of relaxation. More about specific tools HERE #. The ABCs of dealing with emotions – you go to the store and see empty shelves. And so for three days in a row, you try to get toilet paper, which you simply ran out of. You only need one ‘pack’ of this commodity, which has become scarce. Does it not cross your mind that this situation might actually suddenly get significantly worse? Whether we like it or not, the surrounding reality affects our emotional state, which is, after all, a source of motivation to act. Although, of course, in the media (mainly social media) we find many calls to remain calm, there is a slight breeze of concern, fear, and sometimes even anxiety in conversations with others. Without specialist knowledge, it will be difficult for us to argue about how much the situation actually requires our attention and involvement (which will take away from our daily work), it is worth focusing your actions as a manager on dealing with the actual state of affairs. What exactly is worth doing?

Without emotions, there is no motivation. And what to do when our emotions are in a completely different place than the tasks and projects we need to complete as a team? Many people may be concerned about the current situation, experiencing high stress and not showing it or even being fully aware of it. People whose life and work order has been disrupted may be distracted, demotivated, and less effective. So take care of yourself: quickly establish a new order at home and communication rules with your boss or team (if you are the boss) as soon as possible. Do not hesitate to tell your boss what you expect from him in this situation: work tools, specific ways of communication, organization, etc. Fortunately, humans are highly adaptable beings, and the situation should normalize within a few days. As the team leader – especially in the initial phase of transferring the team’s work to the virtual space – you are responsible not only for efficiently planning and organizing the work but also for the team’s morale. Do not underestimate people’s anxiety and stress related to what is happening around them. This can affect and will affect their work efficiency. To minimize negative effects, it is necessary to quickly establish the aforementioned New Order and conscious communication, not just via email. To this end, organize a virtual meeting or teleconference to ensure a sense of comfort, safety, and clarity of the next steps. During the teleconference, the team wants to hear a calm, matter-of-fact leader who, even if not everything is fully thought out yet, gathers information in a matter-of-fact way, asks questions, collects conclusions, and makes decisions based on them. The team wants to hear a calm, matter-of-fact tone of voice.

Many managers perceive the current situation as a significant threat to employees’ daily productivity, team efficiency, and ultimately as a threat to achieving goals. There is a thought lingering in our minds that people are lazy and might not be very willing to work. And if they are not in the office, it won’t be visible anyway! Regardless of the level of ‘laziness,’ we know ways and tools to help maintain a good level of productivity. Regardless of the situation, it is worth remembering that distraction and general relaxation in such situations will primarily result from the emotional context (sense of security), rather than a lack of engagement in task execution.

Introduction paragraph: 8:00 AM, I am ready for a new day! After all, we’ve done more challenging things before. We will plan games for the kids, some lessons, maybe online educational movies, and we will have time to get our own work tasks done in peace. At least that’s what I thought on the first day… 8:00 AM, I am ready: freshly brewed coffee – check computer – on email – opened “Center of world management” prepared for a new day full of challenges…and suddenly: I amooooooo, I’m hungry – and I already know, this won’t be an ordinary day at work… When breakfast is taken care of and I feel that yes, this is the moment when I can start conquering the world…. Then my “whole world” shows me that I can put my plans aside, because that’s when THE question comes: Mom, can we play together? And here begins the juggling of tasks and time for my daughter. On one hand, I have to complete the tasks planned for today, and on the other, I don’t want my daughter to feel rejected, left alone. This is task juggling at the “master” level. I start repeating to myself: “Dear, this is another challenge that will help you exercise creativity, effective management, and patience. This will only strengthen you and make you stronger”… It helps a bit, although a glass of wine would probably help more, but that’s not allowed, so I have to pull myself together and drink green tea ☺ Time: 12:00, I notice in the mirror that the first gray hairs might have appeared… When I finally manage to get a handle on the omnipresent chaos (at least more or less) and keep the child occupied with playing with the dog, the phone rings. I recognize the number, it’s one of the important clients. I grab my cell phone, run to an empty room, close the door, and answer. About halfway through the negotiations, there’s a loud ‘boom!!!’. I’m in shock, and with the phone still at my ear, I run to assess the damage to people and dogs. Fortunately, the only casualty is a poor peace lily that was decorating the windowsill… The silver lining is that the client, hearing what’s happening, agrees to my terms – ha! First victory of the day ☺ But the moment of triumph is short-lived, as my daughter calls me to the kitchen… Supermom forgot about the pasta boiling on the stove for dinner. Ok, it happens – fortunately, we live in wonderful times where there are things like frozen food, and to my child’s delight, today for lunch we have fries and fish sticks. From 1:00 PM to around 2:00 PM, there is relative peace – thank you, fate, for a child who eats slowly. I take advantage of the moment and send overdue emails, finish the report, and plan my next workday – I didn’t expect that I could do so many things in an hour, it seems to be a matter of motivation.  I inform the boss about successful negotiations – he is proud… I don’t bother him with other matters, let him remain proud ☺ Finally, it’s 4:00 PM, I close my email, turn off my computer, mute my work phone, sit on the couch, close my eyes… and then I hear the familiar, melodic voice of the being I love more than life itself: – Mooooom, I’m thirsty! – and I already know that the workday is far from over ☺ This is exactly how my first day of remote work combined with taking care of my daughter looked. It was quite a challenge, but also an interesting experience, it helped me develop a few tricks for the following days. Here they are: Playing school – me at my desk, my daughter at her little table, the first lesson is art, the topic: ‘Spring’ and I have about 30 minutes of peace… but what a shock. I was afraid to speak up so as not to distract the young one from work. Then checking and evaluating the work, a short break for her and for me, and then Polish language, where I also gave the young one a few tasks, and surprisingly, she really got into the whole activity, even calling me ‘Ma’am’. Of course, the whole activity didn’t last 8 hours, only about 3 hours, but after the whole activity, my daughter had probably had enough of my company and just occupied herself ☺ Playing office – similar to playing school, but just changing the name of the game made it something new and fun. Here we set up our desks opposite each other, and each of us had our own duties, mine were the real ones and the young one’s were those that just came to my mind. The benefit of this game is twofold, not only could I work peacefully, but my daughter, fresh out of college, will be able to put over 20 years of office work experience on her resume ☺ Internet – contrary to appearances, you can find some valuable and helpful sites in the virtual world, here are a few suggestions below ☺ https://www.matzoo.pl/ https://www.buliba.pl/ https://www.domowyprzedszkolak.pl/ https://ciufcia.pl/ https://cojanato.pl/wp-content/uploads/2020/03/Gra.pdf I am keeping my fingers crossed for all the brave moms and dads, and remember: “This is another challenge that will help you practice creativity, effective management, and patience. This will only make us stronger and more resilient”… 😀

In the first part of the article (you can find it HERE), you learned quick, practical ways to solve key problems of the initial shock: what to do at the beginning of a difficult situation to ensure emotional comfort? How to best communicate in a difficult situation? How to conduct a conversation while ensuring emotional comfort? The following content is written as a continuation, allowing you to delve deeper into the topic and understand the mechanisms behind emotions in a broader context. We created it based on the assumption that the better we know our body and the processes occurring within it, the more gently we perceive reality. Knowledge of the methods and tools presented here: Will help you plan actions in the medium and long term horizon Will suggest how to cope when quick methods do not achieve the expected results (because the matter is more serious) Let’s start with the basics of psychology so that we begin from a specific level of knowledge. We distinguish 3 categories of emotional states: Negative e.g. anger, fear, discomfort, panic, terror Neutral e.g. calm, surprise, relaxation Positive e.g. joy, hope, amusement, happiness Does this mean that if I am to ensure comfort, I should do everything to provide conditions that guarantee comfort or peace as a boss or employee? How can we do this when we currently receive a plethora of information from all sides that practically disrupts peace? Before I suggest how each of us can take care of our emotional comfort, I will present the ABCD model described in the book ‘ABC of Your Emotions’. Let’s imagine an employee of a large international company who used to work on-site every day. Let’s assume her name is Paulina. Paulina receives information that due to the spreading virus, she will have to work remotely from home starting tomorrow. The ABCD model assumes that each letter symbolizes a factor that influences the entire process of reacting to a situation. A — is the event that took place, the fact: what I see, hear, feel, what happened? B — these are my thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes about event A C — these are my emotional feelings experienced through thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes B D — this is what I did in response to event A Let’s return to Paulina. A — what happened? -> Paulina receives information that she has to work remotely from home. B — what are Paulina’s thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes about working remotely from home? Here, depending on individual factors, we can already have several reactions: B1 – “This type of work is inefficient, I will have trouble focusing on work. How can I coordinate with everyone when I already have trouble doing so even when they are in the office. I don’t want to work this way. B2 – “Oh, it’s great that my company has enabled this form of work. I’ll try something different. It’s good to learn how to work remotely. It will be useful in the future. B3 – “What great news. I won’t have to sit in traffic jams while driving to the office in the morning. If I complete my tasks faster, I’ll be able to spend more time with my children. C — what emotions does Paulina feel in relation to her thought, belief, attitude? C1 – fear, frustration C2 – surprise C3 – joy, excitement. D — what did Paulina ultimately do? D1 – Paulina went on sick leave. D2 – Paulina started a new form of work with curiosity. D3 – Paulina started remote work with great enthusiasm. The above descriptions show that it was based on thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes that Paulina generated emotional feelings, which led to specific actions. Emotions provided the direction that specific actions followed. I would like to emphasize that for proper functioning (and maintaining good well-being), we need to experience all emotions in the context of different situations. It is therefore standard to experience both negative emotions (fear, worries, anxiety) and flashes of positive emotions (hope, joy) throughout the day. In the difficult situation we find ourselves in today, many people primarily experience negative emotions, which stem from thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes, ultimately lowering our mood and emotional comfort. Answering the question: what can be done to take care of emotional comfort? It is enough to ensure that our thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes evoke positive or neutral emotional feelings. How to do it for yourself?  The authors of the book ‘ABC of Your Emotions’ propose filtering thoughts through 5 principles of healthy thinking, known as 5ZZM. What I propose is: write down the thought and check how many of the following questions you can answer yes to. Is this thought based on fact: on how things really are? Does this thought help you protect your health and life? Does this thought help you achieve your goals (both short-term and long-term)? Does this thought help you: avoid unwanted interpersonal conflicts or effectively deal with interpersonal conflicts? Does this thought help you feel the way you want to feel? If you answer yes to at least 3 questions, it means that the thought is healthy. If you have at least 3 no answers for a given thought, it means that the thought is not healthy. For example: “I don’t want to work this way.” No No No/Yes No No Then it’s worth transforming the thought into one that meets the principles of healthy thinking, such as: “This is my first time experiencing remote work. This is new to me. I will work this way for at least a month and only then will I evaluate how I feel working in this form.” How can you, as a manager, influence positive thoughts, beliefs, and attitudes? Everyone has the right to their own thoughts and beliefs. As a manager, you can provide your team with information that may influence the creation of positive thoughts and beliefs on a given topic. IMPORTANT: this approach does not mean manipulation. If you provide employees with information (e.g., the possibility of looking from a different perspective), you do not influence how they make decisions. Each of us ultimately makes our own decisions about which information we consider key. Therefore, it is worth showing your openness to communication with the team and jointly solving problems. Sharing thoughts and different points of view. Talk to each individual to understand the thoughts and beliefs of the employees. Often, you will receive numerous arguments from the employees themselves, based on which you can help a person with negative thoughts and beliefs. What exactly you can do: Honestly present your position on the matter and the arguments that support it. Show the pros and cons. Use the information you received from the team that positively influences the perception of the situation. Present the change as an opportunity for new solutions that benefit the team (e.g., the introduction of tools that you have long needed). Ask what the team needs from you? How do they envision functioning in a given difficult situation? Look for examples of other teams that have faced a similar difficult situation. Describe it, show how the team handled it (e.g., the last economic crisis) What else can you do: create your action plan and write down the positive aspects you see in the situation and post it in a visible place. Emotions come and go, they interchange, and rarely dominate for a longer period. However, if something does dominate daily life, it is worth placing content in the environment that supports natural mechanisms (emotion exchange) and provides us with more positive experiences. See now: Part 3: how to ensure effective task execution? # Source: “ABC of Your Emotions” Maxie C. Maultsby Jr., Mariusz Wirga, Michael DeBernardi.